Reply To: Separation … scary thing….stepping into the unknown

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Hi there, I’m in a very similar situation myself although we were together for 13 years not 20. We separated last June but I still feel so raw and emotional. I really feel that fear of stepping into the unknown, questioning every day whether I should have stayed to make it work, I feel enormous guilt that my decision to end things has damaged the children (7 and 9). There will be days where you feel able to take on the world and others where you cry yourself to sleep. I don’t know when life starts to feel ok again but I do think it helps to recognise that it is a grieving process, not just for what you have lost but for all the other things like future plans, memories, friendships etc. Be kind to yourself, feel the emotion and know it is part of the healing. Find someone you can talk openly with who will listen and support you. Separation was what I felt I needed at the time, I still know it was right deep down, but my god it hurts and continues to throw me at unpredictable times. Making a meal that my husband liked- I end up crying out of nowhere, a song, a memory, photographs etc….it still hurts. But seek out support, don’t isolate yourself and do things that make YOU happy x