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Tinkerbell123
Participant

I had to reply when I read he ignores calls then apologises and says he doesn’t like confrontation. My ex says exactly the same and makes me feel like I’m aggressive when I challenge his behaviour.

Unfortunately I cannot help and give advise on visitation as I never went down that route! However, 3 children and 8 years post-split later I wish I had. My ex was exactly the same. I ran around trying to keep his relationship with his 3 children going consistently rather than let him see them sporadically when it suited him. I am a great believer in routine and father figures.

Fast forward to two teenagers who barely engage with him, only on a polite level. I am now left with my youngest at 7, who I still try to advocate for. However, I am tired and frustrated with the constant idleness of him, last year I decided to give up the ghost and the effects were remarkable! He saw her weekly for as little a time as possible, sometimes not even over night, all his choice, citing he had to work. My youngest then subsequently integrated with my finance like never before and was more settled than ever.

Now, due to covid 19 my youngest is not interested in seeing her father and is the happiest child and way more content than my other two were at that age. I think maybe because I’m not forcing it?

They communicate on the phone and still have the option to see each other when ever they want, I have never put restrictions in place, however, it is becoming less and less. This is sad but a natural progression and consequence of his unwillingness. I see it as his loss.

The downside is the single parent part when trying to work from home, painful! I am less stressed now though since I just let it all go and accepted mine and my child’s fate, albeit years later.

Good luck