Reply To: Better co-parenting

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Bunnyhop
Participant

I think perhaps shes finding it hard to be nice to the person who broke up with her. I dont really think you can expect her to be all pleasant and lovely to you all of the time and that you’re maybe expecting a bit much from her. I know its not easy to deal with someone who is volatile and, perhaps over time things will get better, but I dont think you giving your suggestions of how she can “improve” are helping the situation right now and if anything is probably riling her up even more. Of course I hope she is still working with you in terms of meeting the needs of your son and visitation etc. If not then obviously you really both need to take action before it ends up being a war with your son stuck in the middle. But she is probably really hurting and angry about you ending the relationship. And maybe she’s hiding a lot of that pain and its seeping out in other ways when she’s talking to you and thats where the attitude is coming from. At the end of the day you cant force her to like you. Perhaps this will be one of those situations where civility is the best you can scrape by with for the moment. It takes some co parents years to finally get to a point where they have both moved on from their own personal feelings and able to focus fully on their child. However you could suggest mediation as I mentioned previously or perhaps counselling for the pair of you – this would give you both the chance to talk about your feelings in a safe, totally impartial space and get to the root cause of whats really behind all of this.