Reply To: Parenting plan

Home Online forum Gingerbread Forum Parenting plan Reply To: Parenting plan

#39879 Report

Bunnyhop
Participant

I would suggest contacting a solicitor – many offer a free initial 30 minute consultation and you may be eligable for legal aid although that would depend on your financial circumstances. But I was told by my solicitor when my ex was threatning to take me to court over the kids to just let him do it. She said most of them dont actually bother cause it costs them a lot of money and even if they did go through with it the judge isnt interested in tit for tat they only care about the best interest of the child so its not something to be scared of anyway as long as you are acting in the best interests of the child. But usually mediation has to have been attempted first before the courts will even get involved unless theres special circumstances. Have you thought about mediation? There are mediators available through charities if money is an issue where they offer free child focused mediation (basically they help you and your ex sort through everything to do with the child and go over the parenting plan with you both helping to finalise it). I know you mentioned that you’re doing a parenting plan for when the baby is born but if he doesnt do one as well and you both make a final one that you both agree to its a bit pointless – he doesnt have to agree with your plan or stick to it if there’s nothing formally in place through court or mediation.  But if your ex isnt interested in mediation or applying to court I would say dont bother chasing him. At the end of the day yes he is the biological father and he has rights but he would have to go through the proper channels to access those rights and if he’s not willing to do it he isnt that interested in the child. Dont be difficult just say you want things done by the book to ensure theres no confusion etc later down the line and so that the child has much needed stability in its life. Any contact should be written i.e messaging or solicitor letters so that theres a record of it and whatever you do remain civil and completely focused on the child at all times no matter what he says or does. If he continues to be difficult then end contact and let him go through the proper channels or fade into the background if he doesnt. I hope this helps and please do consider speaking to a solicitor if you haven’t already and contacting a mediatior to arrange an intake meeting either via telephone if possible during the lockdown or in person once the lockdown is over. All the best and stay safe