Reply To: Told hubby to leave yesterday mixed emotions

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Bunnyhop
Participant

You absolutely did the right thing asking him to leave. And no lockdown is not an excuse for his behaviour. We all go through stressful times but we dont all go around kicking people because of it. I understand arguments can get heated and everyone is under a lot of pressure but, and I hate to sound harsh here, would you have made excuses for him if he had done it to one of the kids? Violence is never ok. Im not condeming the guy or going to tell you to split from the guy. But Im not going to tell you to take him back either. What I would say is perhaps now is a good time for both you and your partner to sit down seperately and re-evaluate your relationship etc. If you decide to split that doesnt mean he cant still be a good dad to the kids and it doesnt mean he cant still be around to help you with them – he can still be very much involved with the kids if you both wished for that to be the case. But dont take him back out of fear of raising the kids alone because you wouldn’t be alone – there are many resources and lots of support available to single parents from online communities such as this to charity organisations and much more. And as the kids get older it does get a bit easier as they become more independant, it doesnt stay so hard forever. If you are still undecided and are thinking about giving things another go despite all this then I would say at the very least remain seperated temporarily until things have calmed down. You’ll also have to consider the fact he’s now out of the house and broken quarantine so if he returns to the home now then your child who is shielding is at risk of being exposed to the virus which is exactly what you fell out about in the first place. So you’ll have to consider that. Things are tough just now and these are crazy times but just remember there is help available to you and your children should you need it. But ultimately the decision about whether you take him back or not can only be made by you. My only advice at this time is take some time apart and think hard about things but dont make any rash decisions and dont be pressurised. If you ever need to talk feel free to pm me. Hope you and your family stay safe