Reply To: Getting over my husband leaving us for another woman

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It is so sad to know there is so much of this about. Mine did the same(found out last year) we were together nearly 30yrs.  I have given up so much to support him, then they betray you and toss you out. Being older I also feel very vulnerable and insecure, as gave up career to “move” as a family for a fresh start ( he’s done it before!) More fool me- I wish I could turn back time and shouldve finished our marriage back then, but us women are usually a bit too trusting, and sadly I was still in love with him despite what he had done.

I just wish they would deal with their feelings in a more mature fashion and have the “balls” to face us and tell the truth, rather than the sneaking around and lying. Life would be far easier, and we would all be getting along with one-another a lot better. As it is, human nature turns us into bitter, angry, humiliated and depressed individuals!!

There are no clear cut answers I’m afraid. My one piece of advice is never trust them again. Let them move on. Whoever they end up with is the unlucky one. You have escaped them. They are not worth your tears, time nor energy. My mum tells me to simply be polite and calm! Hard to do at times when all you want to do is throttle them!!

Be the mature one, start looking at what you can do to make your life better. Cry when you need to, I did, you have to let it out. I did see a counsellor as I suffered from stress,anxiety and weight loss. I still get tearful, I’m even upset writing this as it brings back all those raw emotions. Time does make things a little easier, but it does take time. Rant to your friends if you have any nearby, or phone them. If they are good friends they won’t mind. Sometimes you just need to let off steam , not necessarily an answer. You will be better off without him. It just doesn’t look that way now. I am struggling with trying to work out the whole financial deal at the moment, and sadly that adds to our stress. Get help/advice where you can.

Don’t try to look back at “what could have been/what ifs”- this ends up getting you stuck in a rut. been there done that! Write down your rants- it made me feel better .