Reply To: Thinking about seperation

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Hey James,

It’s a hard thing to feel the way you’re feeling but even more so in these already uncertain times!

Have you ever raised the subject with her before? Or would this be completely out of the blue to her? I personally would go down the letter route but only as a way to organise your thoughts, sometimes I find having difficult conversations on the spot means that either I forget some important points or the other persons emotions rule the conversation which stops you explaining what you need to say.

After 6 years and two children together I called my marriage to an end last month. It was something that had been brewing for a long time and we’d had many ‘things have got to change’ arguments but one of the things that held me back was fear of my husbands reaction and worry about what it will do to my eldest child (5). It hasn’t been pleasant and his emotions have been hard to handle most days but us being in different houses has probably helped a lot as the children are shielded from everything going on and we’re not around eachother most of the time. So I would say if this is really what you want, have an idea of where you’re going to go from there in terms of living arrangements, even if it’s just for a trial separation.

Most importantly know you’re not alone, your feelings are important too and your children deserve two happy healthy parents in their lives, regardless of whether those parents are married or separated.

Take care and good luck x