Reply To: Help! Ex sending the kids to school with no lunch.

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Rob in Leeds
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Thank you everyone for your replies

Schubert, yes, the kids have been sent to school with no packed lunch and no money to buy lunch deliberately on numerous occasions – just with the instruction to “ask your Dad to pay”. If I have not then they have gone without, or as was my daughters case yesterday her friend bought her a biscuit for lunch.

With my daughter having recently started high school where they pay with their fingerprint, if there are insufficient funds then they miss lunch & there seems to be no ’emergency lunch’ provision within the Parentpay system to prevent this. Her previous Primary School would not let the children go without lunch, they’d make the phone call directly to her mother or myself after having ensured the children had been fed.

Sherima, the school conversation will happen, however I fear that this may escalate into something else and I’m quite expecting her to pull some other stunt as a consequence.

Kath, absolutely the focus should remain on the children if only from one direction. It makes my blood boil to read about your ex, why is that the case, why would he not want to help support his son and how is it that it seems that he can get away with it?

I pay the Child Maintenance directly to my ex so yes I could control what is paid, I suspect that would very quickly change though if I made any reduction to ensure that the children are fed at school. This of course would then come with an additional financial penalty to me as the CMS charge a fee for “collect & pay”. I’ll talk to the CMS again and clarify the consequences but I think I already know the answer. Court action against me as a result of not paying the “correct” CM amount to the receiving parent isn’t really attractive and in the meantime having them reach into my bank account to take what they want and when, and charge me for the privilege doesn’t appeal too much either.

See what I mean about a biased system?!