Reply To: Help! Ex sending the kids to school with no lunch.

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Rob in Leeds

Thanks Kath

I think JJ is just a bit lonely and lacks some attention. Hopefully she’ll find some elsewhere and be happy.

Yes Parentpay is in use at my daughters school and I have my own login so I can see what’s been paid, what she’s spent and what she’s eaten. I’ve paid for plenty of her lunches when she’s had nothing left in her account and when she’s called me at lunchtime to say that her Mum is refusing to top it up but it has to stop. On her very first day in high school her mother added £2.95 to her Parentpay account for lunch. £2.95! Who does that? Why not £3 or a fiver? It was a Tuesday, a lunch with a drink and a snack is £3 minimum, what was she going to do the next day? Yeah, “phone your Dad”

I’ve spoken to the CMS directly about this but they will not take anything into account that I may pay for outside of Child Maintenance so I can’t deduct anything from my regular maintenance payments regardless of whether I can back it up with evidence. I really wish it was that simple.

It was the CMS case worker that suggested I contact Social Services as my regular Child Maintenance payments are contributions towards food, housing and clothing for the children when they’re not with me. If the kids are going without food it could be viewed as neglect. I don’t want to go down that route it seems excessive but as someone has suggested via a direct message it might be worth a conversation with them to hear their view.

It’s absolutely about getting more money from me, that’s been 100% her focus during and since the divorce. I’d perhaps be a little more sympathetic if she was on a low income and struggling but that really is not the case, her earnings are at least 3 x mine. In fact they returned from a skiing trip to Austria at the weekend after she took the kids out of school for an extra week after the Christmas break – naturally there was no discussion about this despite it meaning I missed a weekend of my regular contact (again) and could potentially face a fine too!

Talking to the school is a very good suggestion and something I will do, thanks for suggesting that.