Reply To: Positively Hanging on
I understand what you mean about the loneliness completely. I’ve found it gets harder, not easier. My husband quite unexpectedly walked out on me 2 months ago when I was 5 months pregnant. To begin with family and friends were great, really supportive and there for me. But a few months down the line and the support, phone calls etc have died down. Which I totally understand, people have their own lives, and its been Christmas so I’m not knocking anyone at all. But I’m still here, and if I’m honest I’m still completely beside myself. People keep telling me ‘it will get better’ and ‘you’re such a strong woman you’ll be ok’. I smile and nod, but inside I’m screaming. Because nothing is getting better, and I’m really not that strong. I put on a front, but inside I feel scared, weak and broken. And I feel now like I cant talk to anyone about how I really feel, because they are fed up of me talking about it, and if I’m constantly down and depressed people will start avoiding me completely as they dont want to hear it.
And as for making new friends, I’m just not in the right head space to do it. And no one is going to want to befriend me at the moment, I’m not exactly a barrel of laughs right now! And of course theres part of me that actually doesn’t want any new friends! I was happy with my old life, and I didn’t want anything to change.
I’m just really struggling with everything right now, and cant see how anything will get better. I cant even get excited about my baby arriving, because it fills me with anxiety and dread. But again I cant tell my family or friends that because they’ll think I’m a horrible person. I expect whoever reads this will think the same too. But I have to offload somewhere. I’m sorry I had to do it here on your post. I’m desperately trying to be positive, but its getting increasingly difficult.