Reply To: Friends don’t understand

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SOLOMUMMY
Participant

I think you need a bit of tough love here!

Stop being jealous.  Own your decision to divorce and stop assuming that everyone else’s situation are as they appear from the outside!

The married couple maybe perfect, they may have issues you’re totally oblivious to! What you see isn’t always what you get when talking about others relationships! You have no idea what has been sacrificed by either party. And tbh it’s none of your concern.

I can post a photo of my perfect life,  you know smiles, perfect home etc, what you wouldn’t see is the chaos in the other rooms, the messiness in the other six rooms, the stresses of managing everything, the budget ting,  the juggling of trying to be everywhere and everything to everyone! You’d see what I wanted you to see!

As for the single friend, you have no idea how she maybe yearning for a partner, family etc. And of course she probably doesn’t get it,  how can you until you’re in or have been in that situation.

You need to worry about you! And focus on managing your new life.

If working ft is not sustainable,  then you have options. Maybe see the doctor and get signed off to allow you time to regroup. Or look at the benefits calculators and see whether you would be able to claim anything that would say mean you can reduce your hours.  I would struggle to work ft, I currently average four when you include other responsibilities and that a lot to still juggle things. However I have my child full time,  so don’t get any free Friday nights. So maybe reducing to 4 days could work for you?

I think that sadly this time of year is notoriously busy.  I’m busy at work and busy with Christmas activities,  so struggle to even keep in regular contact with my friends, let alone support them through major life changes. As harsh as that is, that is the reality for many people.

Perhaps it is worth looking into to talking therapies for you. In some areas they do