Reply To: Absent 'dad' of 4 years is suddenly contacting me. Help!
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Legally you both have right to privacy and as such he doesn’t have to know your address. BUT, if this goes to court, the courts may disagree and force your hand, stating that he has a right to know where his son resides. He has NO RIGHT to insist on contact at your home.
Is your CMS case still open and been reviewed lately? If not do so.
Did you report the harassment and damage to property etc?
I would suggest that to move forward, you could suggest he sends your son some emails, with information about his life etc and some photos. If he agrees to this, this opens things up easily for your son. You then could either go straight to an initial meeting somewhere neutral or facetime call. The latter would be more awkward I would think with a 5 year old.
The cultural name is an issue you may have to compromise on – but I would raise it initially as your child does not respond to this name. But denying him that side of his background isn’t appropriate if his father wishes to use it.