Reply To: Equal Parental Accountability

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It actually just gives me some solace to know that other people out there are experiencing similar frustrations!

I chose to leave the relationship nearly six years ago…a fact that my ex has repeatedly held against me…because we were making each other miserable. He proceeded to sell the flat we were living in, make me homeless, refused to pay maintenance and generally make my life as difficult as possible.

My ex moved to Germany nearly three years ago (he gave me two weeks notice) and very rarely calls our son and only sees him about once every two months and has only had him overnight once in three years despite having a flat over here. He also comes over to the UK to visit his new wife and children and does not ask to see our son. I have never met his new wife as he likes to keep us apart and he doesn’t communicate with me at all about anything.

Whenever I try to talk to him he just turns nasty…but he would have his family believe that he is Dad of the Year.

When I found out that I was pregnant with my son I was in the second year of a degree, which I had to defer. My ex always knew that I had my own aspirations and as much as I love motherhood and my son it is not the only way that I define myself. I have had to pass up opportunities because of the lack of support from my ex…at the moment I have a job that as much as it’s demanding and low-paid is reasonably flexible so I can be as good as Mum as I can be for my son. I don’t have a social life and I feel pretty lonely a lot of the time. And guilty for feeling this way.