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I’m not saying it’s a fair system and that there’s only ever one winner.

But you need to decide if you think she’s taking the piss, then say no to some of the requests. If the requests are needs rather than wants, is she really going to not provide?  However if she now feels that you have the means over her, I can see why she’s saying “ask dad”.

You’re not supporting her. You’re supporting your children.

You obviously feel as though only you have been impacted on negatively. But I’d genuinely say she was working in a shop, had she not been on maternity leave  etc , had time out career wise, not worked in a low paid shop, she could have progressed far beyond where she is and that’s sort of the point. Regardless of the limitations you felt were imposed, you weren’t out of the workplace for years, so have still progressed and tbh with an income of the higher tax bracket have clearly managed well despite your feeling you couldn’t achieve the qualifications you wished for.


That doesn’t mean i disagree that it sounds as though she was well advised to not let you have 50-50 to claim the maintenance and is now trying to do the best she can financially by the children.


The situation won’t change unless you make a stand and say no. FWIW saying no doesn’t make you a bad parent! I refuse many requests on a daily basis. And actually this may ground your relationship with your children if they don’t see you as a money tap!