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Dadof12345
Participant

@solomum I find your replies helpful, as its gives me a better understanding of how my childrens mother percives things. to answer your points;

 

We was 17 when we had our first child and 19 we we had our 2nd. My career took the hit as i skipped further education to provide for our children. My ex went on to pass the course she was studying. When we was in a relationship, her jelousy prevented me from personal progression. I worked 42 hours per week for £18,500 per year. She worked 20 hours in a local shop.

Since seperating, she has progressed onto managment and i have also enjoyed progression and earning in excess of £40,000. Seperate was the best thing to do for our children, but please do not assume that its only the mothers who take the hit. Since seperating, I have been reduced to 1 day a fortnight with my children, while she also made the application to the CMS to gain financially for the nights she ceased access. I then had to endure all the suffering cause to my children while i was able to get in front of the family courts. Again my expense, while she had no justification what so ever to cease access. Is she still taking the hit and suffering? Oh, I also left her the family home, all the furnishings, paid her billd for 3 months after the split, left her the family car and walked away with only a JD sports bag full of clothing. Everything else of mine was burnt in the back garden while my children had to listen to her **** me off with her friends.

You read me wrong, I share the same (if not more) household expenses as she does. I pay for the childrens clothing, school meals/clothing, activities etc outside of the CMS payments. My point is I am paying for her household, but why? We have shared care, everything is equal, other than its me financing both households + the children. You say i have a choice not to pay the “extras” outsid eof the CMS payments, but she tells the children to ask me to buy them things and if i didnt my children go without. Its not fair that they should missout, however the CMS should take into account what i actually spend on the children. She manipulating the system, she knows by telling the children to ask me to pay for things, then that frees up the CMS for her to spend it on whatever she wants to. Is that fair?