Reply To: Lost

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If you have taken steps to help yourself or becomes a better person you should do this for you, not for her or anyone else.  Yes you show more by actions rather than words but you may find if you put your effort into being that person you describe you want to be she will respect you more than if you are doing it purely dependant on her.  This also places extra pressure on her whereas the burden should be on you.  If you do feel you value what you have you may have to let go first because if u become the person you should regardless and she lets go then it’s her loss and it wasn’t something to be saved in any case but you will have bettered yourself….and you can then find the right person too.  If you show fear of losing etc and lack of confidence saying the best thing to happen to you relies solely on her, she won’t feel value in that….you have to be someone of value independently….that’s the point.  Focus your efforts on being a good dad primarily, and secondly just be you, not for someone else or for fear of losing something….you can’t sustain that.  Just be the person you described you are trying to be and then go with it…  See where it leads.