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Unfortunately I have no personal experience in dealing with the situation you are in or similar so I am sorry I cannot offer any useful insight. It is a difficult balance and yes the system is a nightmare. I just wanted to say its so nice to read about a father having such an active role in his kids lives. Im new and your post is the first Ive read. Lifted my spirits. You sound like a fantastic father! I hope you manage to resolve the issues 🙂