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Newly separated
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Oh my goodness that sounds so tough! I went through the younger woman affair with my ex 6 yrs ago and I felt like my whole world had imploded. He started cheating when our youngest was only weeks old and what upset me more than everything was how nasty he was despite having his cake and eating it. When the affair ended the alcoholism then took over. I cannot fathom how guys like this can justify their actions! I totally get where you are with analysing it all though, it drove me crazy. It sounds nuts but I literally didn’t see it coming despite every red flag in the book. It’s so sad and I hope you are ok.

I loved your idea about the 30 days. Just prior to our separation I began a degree course which on the one hand does make me even more busy, on the other hand helps to keep me feeling capable and worthwhile.  I just loathe the dark days when I feel simply not good enough and abandoned, even the study can’t help me on those days. My confidence has taken a dive and I want it back! I am looking at singles holidays to see if I can get enough courage to go off with a bunch of new folks for a few days as i think it might help me get some sense of self back (that isn’t related to being a mum or work).