Reply To: Feeling lonely

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Feeling lonely sucks!

It’s evolved over the years, when my lad was small I’d put him to bed in the early evening and then spent a few hours at a total loss with what to do with myself, I just felt so alone and miserable. I think the worst times were when we went on little holidays away to caravan parks, the days were fine as id make sure we had loads to do but going back to the caravan park was awful, we would go into the clubhouse for a while but seeing all the happy families was pure torture, we would then leave to go to the caravan, he would go to bed while I sat quietly reading listening to the distant sound of folk having fun back at the clubhouse….terrible.

It’s far different now, my boy is 13 so pretty much independent, if I want to pop into my local which is 5 mins walk away to socialise it’s fine, the boy would rather be home playing on his computer. Its a village pub where we all know one another so I’m not lonely for people any more. I am lonely in a sense that I want to share my life with a girl, I have had a few relationships over the years but havnt had a proper relationship for nearly 4 years which I find difficult but it’s not the cutting edge painful feelings of lonileness that I once felt, it’s more that I don’t feel complete, most of the time I’m fine but I do dread going to bed and waking up without that special someone next to me, in fact I find all the boring everyday things in life like shopping hard without the other half.

I guess what I have learnt though is that nothing stays the same and that includes feelings, that feeling of lonileness changes and for me it’s gotten easier so thinking that you’ll always feel a particular way forever is wrong.