Have you contacted YMCA for some help with your son? they could put in some intensive support for your son; I say this with some knowledge of what they offer. But yes I agree with you, CAMHS are rubbish. I never heard of anything good coming from the service they provide.
Even if you do end up on your own with your children it doesn’t mean that you won’t be happy. I’m on my own with my 14 year old son and have been since he was 3, I’m def not unhappy. xx