Reply To: 2 years on from divorce.

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Still standing

Hi all,

Thanks for sharing your story. They sound and feel a little familiar to me. I am a guy, divorced over a year, left the family home 18 months ago. I just wanted to say, as a dad, I felt completely unable to influence my ex wife into doing what I felt, was going to be best for our children. My ex wife decided that she wanted to be with a mutual friend, was sleeping with him, told me she wanted a divorce. We have 2 beautiful kids, 7 and 10 at the time. She did not hide that she was with this guy, whilst I was still living in the family home. Even taking our 10 year old to his flat, whist our 7 year old was with me, at home. Anyway, I ended up having to leave the family home. I had read enough to know, that introducing the guy she was with, admittedly the kids knew what was going on, as her boyfriend was not going to be helpful to our children. Cut a long story short, I moved out on the Tuesday, 6 days later, she was introducing him to our kids as her boyfriend. We were not divorced. I was told that the kids were ok, showing no sign of being affected. I think that our children will possibly hide their possible angst from their parents. Our kids want to protect us. I can only concur with the sentiments here, it’s about taking time out from relationships. Putting the kids first. And healing yourself. It may take a little time, but it is about not making the same mistakes again. And taking your time to get to know your next partner, as this person is going to be in the life of our children. Not introducing until you are very very sure. Not messing with the kids heads. Btw, we share the children’s time equally. Don’t like the word “custody”. Thanks for reading. And yes, you and me, as shit as it gets/got, are still standing.