Reply To: Questioning sanity

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Greenfingers
Participant

Hey

i think it’s really helpful if you can work together whilst you have an amicable relationship to find a pattern of childcare that suits you both. It does need to be a set pattern for the longer term as otherwise there will be complications leading to disappointment and arguments in the future. I understand your ex partner maybe reluctant to embrace this prior to securing a new job, however, it’s necessary. In your position, rather than feel like I’m letting my children down I’d ask ex partner what pattern they would like to see, apply that and cover the rest. That way you haven’t committed him to anything he hasn’t thought about or suggested himself. I suppose it’s worth pointing out that despite myself being primary carer for our 3 children, I work 30 hours and at times the kids have to attend school club. Likewise this maybe something that is necessary for dad. You can agree a pattern but that doesn’t necessarily mean he would be with the child 100% of the time. He could use a childcare facility or family to assist him just like you/I need to do. You just need to agree the days in principal