Reply To: Introducing a new partner

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Welshdad
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Yes, think carefully about it first, and your reasons for deciding to.  Definitely find out if there is milage in the relationship before you do, and if in doubt just wait until you know more.  Sometimes unfortunately situations dictate how long a relationship lasts even if both people want it to, but to let your child build a friendship with somone new only to have to explain to them that they wont be seeing them again is very confusing for them, and for you.

Absolutely in the early stages after a separation when your child is confused about what is happening and may have feelings of insecurity, then under no circumstances have any situation where anyone comes before them, don’t ever cancel any plans with them or let them down because of someone else.

Sounds like a no-brainer but my last relationship (first serious one after my separation) ended because her children’s father did exactly that, put all his focus into his new partner and frequently let his kids down, things always came up when it was his turn to have them… and in the end she was left having the kids 24/7, with the son refusing to go to see his dad after demonstrating that when he had them over (reluctantly) that they were an inconvenience and in the way.  This kind of damage lasts…. don’t be that guy/girl.

Let your kids be involved in any decision about meeting new partners, and let it be their idea.  Make absoultely certain they know that any relationship has the potential to be transient whereas they are your focus and nothing will become between you.

 

  • This reply was modified 8 months, 4 weeks ago by Welshdad.