Reply To: My ex is changing plans at the last minute

Home Online forum Gingerbread Forum My ex is changing plans at the last minute Reply To: My ex is changing plans at the last minute

#31525 Report

Pumpkin62
Participant

Hi Hellie22,

I can completely relate to what you’re going through but not much advise as am figuring this out myself.
My ex moved away after he moved out so only sees the kids at the weekend and often only for the day. He avoids committing to anything in advance so I try and get him to agree to which weekends he can/can’t have the kids but he avoids committing.
Even when he does agree to have them, things change at the last minute. So I got a text last Wednesday to say he couldn’t have them today (Sunday).
It’s shit for everyone: the kids are really upset, I have to deal with additional outbursts of emotional behaviour, and I also have my own emotion of being so upset for the kids and livid with him – EXHAUSTING.
I separated from the kids dad 8 months ago, so trying to figure out how to make this all work. The kids (aged nearly 3 & 6) want to spend time with their dad, and when he makes an effort, they have so much fun together.
It’s tough enough separating and becoming a single parent, without the other parent sending across curve balls of shit to unbalance our already fragile life.
I am being very factual to the kids about things, so after Wednesday’s cancel i told them he suddenly had to work, when they asked for more details, I said I didn’t know.  The previous time, i told them he was ill, again they asked questions and I said I didn’t know. I hope with time they realise that their dad just is unable to commit to being in their lives and they will make their own conclusions – they are far to young to do that now.
It’s so challenging but I feel I have a responsibility to try and ensure they have a relationship with their dad. Maybe I’m nuts and trying to do to much. Who knows, atm I am just trying to make sure we’re all ok.

good luck. Happy to chat any time.