Reply To: Teenager distraught at moving home

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I’ve moved a few times since I separated and I can honestly say the most important concern for me is somewhere safe.  Having moved somewhere initially where a someone was staying with the neighbour whose mental health issues posed a safety issue, and due to being tied into the remainder of a lease and hard up for cash at the time due to the split I had to have all visitation at my parents house instead, before finally being able to move out to a nice safe environment.  If I had been a homeowner at that point I would have been in a much worse situation because of the lack of flexibility.  While I understand wanting to maintain inheritance as you put it, and yes renting is dead money… Until you find your feet it does give you flexibility.

From a cost perspective it’s definitely something I’m aspiring to as well however as renting does have its drawbacks.  It would have to be the right place however as renting has certainly been an eye opener.  When discussing any move with my son though all he ever says is he wants somewhere safe… and his room is the main thing he asks about…just wanting somewhere a bit bigger, which is understandable as he is growing up fast.  The experience of my first home after the split has made him appreciate location more than anything…safety and comfort and proximity to what he cares about.  Family above all,  as his friends are near his mother’s house.

Focus on the things that are constants as opposed to transient …and as Anonymous says above try to involve him as much as possible in the process.  He will appreciate that.