Residence - where a child normally lives - full version

Shared care of a child between parents

What is shared care?

Shared care is when a child spends amounts of time (not necessarily an equal amount of time) living with each of you.

Some people and organisations (such as the Child Support Agency) use the term ‘shared care’ to mean when a child stays overnight with the parent they do not normally live with as part of contact arrangements.

This is different to what the courts mean by shared care – that is when a child spends time living with each parent in different households.

Things to consider when deciding about shared care

It might be useful to think about what arrangements would work in your own situation. Think practically about the following:

• The age of your child or children. If you have a newborn baby it may not be appropriate for them to have their time split between two parents. A newborn baby needs to make a bond with their main carer and have routine.
• Your child’s personality and if they are old enough to express their views. Some children may enjoy moving from one home to another. Others may find it difficult. Remember that what would be satisfactory when the child is young may not be so satisfactory as the child gets older.
• Where the child goes to school. Do both of you live the same distance from the child’s school and can they easily make the trip to school and back from both homes?

• Where do the child’s friends or relatives live and is this close to the other parent’s home?
• Does the child do any special classes or out-of-school activities that would be difficult to

• attend if they were at their other home?

In practical terms, shared care will work better if:

• both parents live reasonably close to each other.
• both parents are able to communicate

• well with each other about day-to-day issues which will inevitably arise – for example, is the child’s PE kit in the right home when it is needed?
• it is clear what each person’s responsibilities are, in caring for the child – for example, who is responsible for keeping health appointments and seeing the child’s hair is cut? Generally, one parent will have a greater amount of responsibility than the other.
• both parents are able to be flexible when situations arise where arrangements have to be changed to accommodate your child’s needs at any particular time.

Note: Sharing the care of the children may affect your benefits and tax credits and reduce the level of child support that the non-resident parent is required to pay you. Call the Single Parent Helpline on 0800 018 5026 for more information about this.

Asking the court to decide where a child should live

If parents cannot come to an agreement about where a child lives through negotiations and/or mediation it may, but only as a last resort, need to be decided by the court.

You may need to go to court urgently if, for example, the child has gone to live with the other parent, as this may mean the longer they are there, the less likely it is that a court will change this arrangement. You should always go to court urgently if you think the other parent may attempt to remove the child from your care. Child abduction is a criminal offence and in an extreme case you should contact the police.

The court will only make an order if it considers that to do so would be better for the child than to make no order at all, but in most cases an order will be made.

What is a Residence Order?

A Residence Order can be made by a court to say who the child is to live with and lasts until a child reaches the age of 16 (or 18 in exceptional circumstances). The court can however vary (change) or discharge (end) a Residence Order if an application is made and the court considers that it is in the child’s best interests for this to happen. There will have to be good reasons for this to happen.

A person who has a Residence Order automatically has parental responsibility for that child.

A Residence Order can be made in favour of two or more people: this is known as a Shared Residence Order. These orders were fairly rare until quite recently but are now becoming more common. A Shared Residence Order does not have to mean, and frequently does not mean, a child spends an equal amount of time with each parent, although there are cases where this is the situation. The thinking behind this is that the child understands that both parents have an important role in his or her life. See Shared care of a child between parents above.

If you have a Residence Order for your child, you can take them abroad for up to a month without the consent of anyone else with parental responsibility, unless a court has ordered otherwise.

How does the court make a decision?

The welfare of the child is the court’s paramount concern.
In making the decision, the judge has to apply the following list of factors, known as the Welfare Checklist, before making an order:

• The wishes and feelings of the children, taking into account their age and understanding.
• The children’s physical, emotional and educational needs.
• The likely effect on a child of any change in their circumstances.
• The age, sex and any relevant characteristics of the child.
• Any harm which the child has suffered or is at risk of suffering.
• How capable the parent is in meeting the needs of the children.

It follows from this that:

• The longer a child has lived with and been settled with one particular parent, the more difficult it may be for the other parent to change that arrangement. The court will look at who the main carer has been while the parents were together and this is particularly significant in the case of younger children.
• As children become older their wishes generally carry greater weight and it would certainly be unusual for a court to make a Residence Order against the wishes of a teenage child.
• In most cases the conduct of the parents won’t affect the court’s decision. It will only be considered where it would affect the way a parent cares for the child, for example, drug abuse, alcoholism, neglect of the child or putting the interests of a new partner above those of the child if there is a risk that the new partner may harm the child. Courts have on occasion taken conduct into account where a parent has continually thwarted or undermined contact orders made in favour of the other parent.
• Except in unusual circumstances the court will be reluctant to separate siblings from one another.

For more information about matters to do with arrangements for children see our related factsheets:

• Parental Responsibility - rights and responsibilities of parents who live apart
• Contact between your child and their other parent
• Help with reaching agreements when a relationship ends
• Getting legal help

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