Posted Mon 16 Jul 2012 23:05
Hi Pooja, I'm in a similar position to yourself as I am also a single asian mother with a small baby however my ex-husband left in difficult circumstances and it wasn't my decision to end the marriage. Nevertheless here we are a year later, just me, my baby and a handful of family and friends. Firstly, I feel, the asian community, be it family or friends have a huge issue with single mothers - I feel as though people pity me and my baby and they believe we can't now have a 'normal' happy life. I worry a lot about being a single mother and the affect it will have on my baby, the future etc. and I've concluded that all I can do is try my best to be a positive role model for my baby. I believe that all children need is stability, love and happiness which, especially in the asian community doesn't always from being a part of a 'proper family'. As your a mother, i doubt you would have taken the decision to leave your husband lightly, and i personally think its a very courageous thing for you to have done. in terms of being an emotional wreck, over the past year there are days where I've literally felt as though I'm going mad, sometimes feeling suffocated by family and friends with their views and opinions, but if i step back and reflect, i've probably achieved more over the past year than ever before and I have reason to feel proud of myself for having made the right choices for me and my baby. I hope a year from now you can also reflect back and feel the same. It's not an easy road, but it's not impossible, just because your asian and single, doesn't mean you can't be a good mum and a professional working lady. I hope for both our cases, our children grow up to be proud of their mums and also strong, caring, individuals.