Single parents speak out

I have been fighting for child maintenance payments via the CSA for 10 years and they have been completely incompetent. Mine is a simple case, my ex keeps jumping jobs, it takes the CSA months to trace him and set up a deduction of earnings then he jumps jobs again! I would never pay the CSA for their service as it is a complete shambles, they haven't got a clue how to organise anything so god help single parents and our children's financial financially! I thought the Government wanted to combat child poverty; they will be doing the complete opposite if they set this system up of charging single parents to use CSA - no one would use such a shambolic service and pay for it!

I am appalled by this so called proposal. I agree with the other parents on here, theMPs are living in the dark ages and cannot see for the life of them what is in front of their eyes. At least Labour had it right in terms of looking after the future generations! They didn't have to provide but they gave 'under priveledged' children a starting chance. I too have found myself where my childs father has chosen not to keep in touch, I haven't a clue where he is (personally I don't care he can stay in the hole he originally climbed out of) so tell me Mr CAMERON HOW DO I ORGANISE WITH HIM AMICABLY TO PAY UP FOR OUR DAUGHTER WHEN I CANNOT FIND HIM??? I thought the CSA were there to protect the welfare of the children by finding the absent parent and making them pay up for part of their responsibility. You can;t go sowing your wild oats without consequences and expect to just walk away scot free!!! No way. Re think these charges. If you must have them make an additional charge to the absent parent. Dont make the children suffer. They will in the long term. WIthout the current support off my parents I would be in limbo. I cannot get a job no matter how many I apply for. I have also suffered from ill health recently so that has also taken me a step backwards on the job front. Dont put us single parents all in the same category MR CAMERON. We aren't all the same. A majority of us didn't choose what happened to us but we have to live with it and manage the best we can. I am sure none of us want to have to live on benefits but sometimes needs must. I go without most of the time just so my daughter gets everything. If it wasnt for staying with my parents through this cold spell I would not be able to afford my heating. My money cannot stretch that far and especially when I have landlords who cannot ''simply afford to replace the wooden single glazed windows and exterior doos which do not fit because there is no money in the pot''. What bull...so me and my daughter freeze!!! SO come live the real life MR CAMERON. get your head out of the clouds, stop looking after your own and be a real human being with heart (which you actually do not have) and give a thought to us real single parents who are trying and fighting hard for our children, stop giving us more things to worry about like these stupid charges!!!! Charge me then there is absolutely no point my daughter gettting the pittance that would be left because that would buy her sod all in this day and age and there is absolutely zero point saving anything for her either with these interest rates. Seriously what does the future hold for our children (real children not ones who are born with silver spoons in their mouths). I did not bring my daughter in this world for her to live like this. GET OUT OF OFFICE CAMERON...YOU AREN'T WANTED NO MORE...GET LABOUR BACK IN!!! THEY DO MORE FOR THE WORKING AND LOWER CLASSES.

my ex stopped paying and when he did pay messed ther payments around. i also had to speak to the police about him being abusive, so no contact allowed until the court has made their minds up. My eldest boy was abused by his dad mentally, physically by hitting him and verbally. Why so us single mums have to pay, every day is a struggle for us and i work part time. i think the fathers should pay the fine as they put us in the situation we are in, the kids will suffer long term as no school trips, cheaper clothes and value range items from supermarkets

I only wish David Cameron and his government would take their rose-tinted glasses off and see the harsh reality of the society we live in. In a perfect world there would be no single parents. In a semi perfect world all absent parents would step up to the plate and support their child/ren financial and emotional too. Unfortunately it's not a perfect world, and the harsh reality is that when some absent parents leave the family home they leave their responsibility behind too. I don't even know where my ex is, as he moved out of the area when he left with no forwarding address, so I'd like to know how David Cameron and his government proposes I come to some mutual agreement for money my kids are entitled to. It seems to be that single parents are shouldering the blame for the state of the economy, being outcast, made to feel like second class citizens and punished every which way by the government.

I am outraged at this suggestion! So the deprived parent gets to pay a scandalous fee for the non-payment from the other parent (usually fathers)?!!! Do they really think parents wouldn't try to sort these issues out amicablely if they could? The CSA are usually a last resort. I could at least understand charging the non-paying parent which may act as some deterrent but to hit the victim defies belief. Many single parents are already struggling in many ways. This highlights yet again how out of touch with reality these MPs are as they continue to allow the rich to get richer and the poor get poorer.

I am a single mother of 3 children aged 16 years, 13 years and 7 years. I was married to a violent psychopath for 16 years, it took me most of that time to have the courage to divorce him for my childrens sake as well as my own. During child contact and ancilliary relief proceedings in court, I was made to feel as though I was guilty of a heinous crime; my childrens' lives were yet again thrown into emotional turmoil. Their father suddenly/conveniently became disabled a few weeks after the Decree absolute and as a result pays less than £22 per month in maintenance, although he has never proved he is actually disabled. Meanwhile, ancilliary preceedings have yet again been adjourned at his request which means mine and the childrens lives are in limbo yet again. This has been going on since 2009 and he will walk away with a large chunk of the house in which I provide for my children financially, emotionally and in in every other way that I have to. The laws, courts and judges are all living in the dark ages and will continue to do so until they move away from a 'one size fits all' approach to a more realistic 'all to have a size that fits them' approach! Do these people seriously think that any mother would want to deliberately use the CSA rather than come to an agreement without them? The decision makers are supporters of these vile perpetrators who make these situations unavoidable and yet we are a civilised nation. My children and I would rather do without the pittance they receive than pay the CSA to collect it. For whom is the 'SUPPORT' in CSA???

I am a single parent of 3 and have been trying to get maintenance out of my ex for 7 years. Like most that use the CSA, I have been using it for the last 7 years as my ex would never pay a penny for my kids voluntarily. The service is terrible and its taken until July of this year to get an assessment(sure its due to another pwc now claiming as well). I have been told that i will receive maintenance from April this year, Apparantly 2 of my children had vanished from my case and this was when all 3 were on. Was also told that my case has been closed and reopened several times which i have never done. Just glad to have got an assessment at all so really can't be bothered arguing about it anymore. Still waiting for a payment schedule, could be months as everytime i ring there is something wrong with the computers or there is an incident on my case and have to wait for it to be fixed, nightmare! So why would i want to pay £100 for this service? why should i pay when it is my ex that is refusing to pay? . Maybe if they charged the Non resident parents(that refuse to pay) a hefty fee as well as the % monthly charge than more would think twice about not complying with the csa.

I am a single parent and my ex partner of 18 years has refused to support our son financially. I read the messages from other single parents in the same position as myself and felt very sad and frustrated that this government appears to be protecting the perpetrator rather than the victims of financial abuse. My circumstances were that I had tried to settle the matter amicably with my ex by coming to a voluntary agreement which he failed to keep. He earned nearly £30k a year but offered a paltry sum of £30 per month towards our 15 year old child's care and to add insult to injury and to maintain power and control he would miss payments some months saying he could not afford it. I felt I had no option but to apply to the CSA as I was also on a low income as I needed support. It was something I thought I would never have to do. As a result he has decided to punish me and has refused to see his child. He has also found a loophole in the law so he has gone off sick and has gone self employed. I no longer receive any payments for my child's maintenance and am now seeking another job in order to support our child. This would mean me having very little time at home to spend with our son, so then I will become an absent parent for most of the time and too tired to do pleasureable activities as I will have to work long and unsociable hours. How can be this be right? Our child has been devastated by the actions of his dad and does not understand why his father has abandoned him. This has shaken his self confidence and he is very angry. It has been a very emotional turbulent time for our child because he is bereaved and I have to cope with the aftermath and continue to try and reassure our child that he is a worthy child who is very much loved. There are thousands of children affected by this type of crime and I say crime because it is a crime against children and their rights to feel secure and have economic wellbeing provided by both parents in line with Every Child Matters. When a non resident parent behaves in the message they are giving to their child/ren is that their child/ren is/are not are not valued. When the non resident parent decides to withdraw their support, affection or left lacking in basic financial assistance it is a very abusive action. You know what rankles me the most is that this country, although positive in many aspects, seems to always punish the poor and vulnerable people in its society, White collar crime has many advantages because people who do these type of crimes rarely gets caught or punished and are never made accountable. Mr Cameron says he wants a society that is held responsible and accountable well let’s start with absent parents who do not maintain their children. Come on Mr. Cameron Walk your Talk! These parents are easily identifiable and traceable – so no more excuses! There are non resident parents who are savvy enough to find loopholes in the law so as to not take responsibility and are neglecting their duties to their child/ren because they know the state has no will to make them accountable. This proposal is unjust and single parents who find themselves in this position needs to stand together for the rights of their children to be financially provided for. I am sure these children who have effectively been abandoned by a parent because of their wish not to contribute financially would prefer to have their parent provide love, care, attention and to be treated as children who are of value and worthy above the money because money in itself without meaning means nothing. However, we also require financial commitment. How are children to grow feeling confident and secure emotionally and when they see their parent disappear from their lives and not care whether they eat or have decent clothing, pocket money or school trips and extra curricular school activities all of which costs. How does this help their self esteem? Why should the resident parent carry the guilt and shame of not being able to afford the basic necessities of life for their child/ren. What is the lesson that we are teaching generations to come? I think this government needs to put the onus on the non resident parent to prove that they are not able to pay and all the loopholes for them to avoid paying needs to be closed immediately. It is immoral. The news stated that there will be more children in poverty by 2013 how is this new proposal going to help?? It is just adding to the frustration, pain and distress of parents who are trying to do their best but lose heart because of the system that works against them. The impact overall for myself and our child is that it holds an uncertain future in terms of how I am going to be able to support him through college and university should he choose to go. At least if I was receiving help from his father I could be setting that money aside to assist with our child's needs in the interim and in the long term. It just means that I will have to work twice as hard to provide and I am already struggling so I can't say what will happen in the future but what I do know is that I will do everything in my power to ensure that our child's future is not blighted due to my financial situation as he is a gifted child and an A class student and has the potential to go very far in life therefore I have no choice but to continue to strive to support him as best as I can. I despair and feel anxieties but try to manage on a day to day basis. My heart goes out to all the children and parents who are suffering as a consequence of non resident parents who are totally selfish! Think of your children and the long term effects and stop thinking of your own self interests. Parents separate for all kinds of reasons – get over it! It is the ex that you separated from not your child!! This campaign has my full support!

My ex-husband walked out whilst I was pregnant with our second child,who is now 4 years of age,we also have a son who is 10 years of age.He dont really bother with the children much,and has never once offered to help out financially.I contacted the CSA and all he has to pay for our children is £3.34pw thats not per child that is the total amount absolutely discusting,he states he is not working,but can afford to run two cars,two houses,go abroad????. My children and I were lucky to go on a couple of day-trips.I think the amount he has to pay is totally wrong,what do they think you can spend £3.34 a week on for two children,it wouldnt even pay the bus fare.

I am a single parent of three and one child I have not yet claimed for because I think that I would get lots of hastle from the non- resident parent (father) who has never supported our son now nearly two and a half. These proposed charges for CSA will put lots of parents off for claiming and potentially keep that child in poverty.