Forums - Recent Posts http://www.gingerbread.org.uk/Forum/recent.aspx Forums - Recent Posts en-us http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Jitbit AspNetForum Wed, 16 May 2012 12:56:04 GMT Wed, 16 May 2012 12:56:04 GMT http://www.gingerbread.org.uk/Forum/messages.aspx?TopicID=884 Message from jaynelill
I am in the same situation and it is very frustrating. My ex-husband has his own business and while we were together was earning £55,000 a year and after i left he is declaring that he earns £109 per week, the CSA are powerless to prove this is not true so for my 2 boys i recieve £9 per week. He is still living in the jointly owned home and can earn a very good living, fairness doesnt seem to come into it.]]> Wed, 16 May 2012 12:56:04 GMT http://www.gingerbread.org.uk/Forum/messages.aspx?TopicID=3395 Message from paul7472 Wed, 16 May 2012 10:07:37 GMT http://www.gingerbread.org.uk/Forum/messages.aspx?TopicID=3178 Message from GingerbreadAdmin
you might find some useful information about living with teenagers in the Family Lives website - have a look in the link to Advice on their home page.

www.familylives.org.uk]]> Tue, 15 May 2012 16:26:31 GMT http://www.gingerbread.org.uk/Forum/messages.aspx?TopicID=3395 Message from GingerbreadInfo You may want to call Gingerbreads Single Parent Helpline where there are expert advisers who would be able to answer your queries .

0808 802 0925 Calls are free from all landlines and the major mobile networks, 3,Orange,Virgin,Vodafone,T-Mobile,and 02 .

Mon-10am-6pm
Tue 10am-4pm
Wed 10am-1pm and 5pm-7pm
Thu 10am-4pm
Fri 10am-4pm

Best wishes
Gingerbread]]> Tue, 15 May 2012 11:20:20 GMT http://www.gingerbread.org.uk/Forum/messages.aspx?TopicID=2970 Message from Nessa ]]> Tue, 15 May 2012 11:12:45 GMT http://www.gingerbread.org.uk/Forum/messages.aspx?TopicID=2970 Message from SallyandEmilio

Try this ]]> Tue, 15 May 2012 10:46:16 GMT http://www.gingerbread.org.uk/Forum/messages.aspx?TopicID=2970 Message from Nessa
Cant seem to find it on facebook.

joy]]> Tue, 15 May 2012 10:36:40 GMT http://www.gingerbread.org.uk/Forum/messages.aspx?TopicID=3395 Message from V.P.S.M Tue, 15 May 2012 08:54:48 GMT http://www.gingerbread.org.uk/Forum/messages.aspx?TopicID=3414 Message from spuddy84 im struggling to make my ex listen to my point of veiw as he gets very deffensive we have had a good relationship up to recently but now all we to is bicker have asked for me and him to sit down just us 2 and he is refusing i really feel im stuck between a rock and a hard place]]> Tue, 15 May 2012 07:23:16 GMT http://www.gingerbread.org.uk/Forum/messages.aspx?TopicID=3178 Message from luweewee Tue, 15 May 2012 00:32:42 GMT http://www.gingerbread.org.uk/Forum/messages.aspx?TopicID=3414 Message from craigy

spuddy84 wrote:

my ex has just moved in with a new girlfriend and she has 4 kids aged 1,6,10 and 15
when my girls go and stay they have to share a bed top and tailing and share a room with 2 boys.my girls are age 5 and8 and the boys who also end up sharing a bed are aged 6 and 10 this isnt right but i dont seem to be able to do anything about it i have asked for this arrangement to be changed but was ignored i dont want to stop my girls going to there dads as they love him but its not right!!!!!!!!!

hello spuddy i think the main thing is are the girls happy to stay there?if not then theres a problem.its not ideal though]]> Mon, 14 May 2012 20:49:48 GMT http://www.gingerbread.org.uk/Forum/messages.aspx?TopicID=3338 Message from Debbie_3447
I was in a similar situation when my partner and I broke up over 9 years ago (kids ages 8, 7 and 5).
He would take them overnight for 3 nights per week at first - BUT, it was in the flat downstairs from our family home, so it worked out ok.

When he moved away with his girlfriend, about 2 miles away - it wasn't practical anymore. My solicitor told me the most usual arrangement was for alternate weekend contact and one night during the week (but not overnight). An overnight visit during the week would upset the childrens' routines for school, but is ok on weekends.

For nine years we've kept to this arrangement. The kids know when they're at home, and when they're at dads because its consistent. Makes things easier all round. They've been picked up from school/college by their dad every Wednesday, and returned home at 8pm for as long as I can remember now.

It's got easier over time.

I hope this makes sense.]]> Mon, 14 May 2012 20:25:59 GMT http://www.gingerbread.org.uk/Forum/messages.aspx?TopicID=3395 Message from paul7472 Mon, 14 May 2012 17:35:56 GMT http://www.gingerbread.org.uk/Forum/messages.aspx?TopicID=3395 Message from V.P.S.M Mon, 14 May 2012 17:26:34 GMT http://www.gingerbread.org.uk/Forum/messages.aspx?TopicID=3395 Message from V.P.S.M Mon, 14 May 2012 17:23:42 GMT http://www.gingerbread.org.uk/Forum/messages.aspx?TopicID=3395 Message from paul7472 Mon, 14 May 2012 15:44:02 GMT http://www.gingerbread.org.uk/Forum/messages.aspx?TopicID=3414 Message from spuddy84 when my girls go and stay they have to share a bed top and tailing and share a room with 2 boys.my girls are age 5 and8 and the boys who also end up sharing a bed are aged 6 and 10 this isnt right but i dont seem to be able to do anything about it i have asked for this arrangement to be changed but was ignored i dont want to stop my girls going to there dads as they love him but its not right!!!!!!!!!]]> Mon, 14 May 2012 14:10:30 GMT http://www.gingerbread.org.uk/Forum/messages.aspx?TopicID=3395 Message from V.P.S.M I would firstly like to offer you my sincere condolances to both you and your lovley children on the loss of your wife/theirmum.

In regards to question about what benfits that you may be eliable for as you have a child who is under 5 years old you may be able to make a claim for income support if you have saving of less than 6,000 for people under 65 and 10,000 for those over 65. When your child reaches 5 years old you will then be transfered on to Job seekers allowance (known as J.S.A) Far too young in my opinion but don't get me started on that one.

The differences between Income support and J.S.A are as follows: A lone parent with a child under 5 can claim income support were by they are not obligated to be available for work so therefore they don't have to sign on. However you may have to attend Work focused interviews referred to as W.F.I. Before your child turns 5 you will be notified by the job centre about your transition to J.S.A. When you first attended job centre in regards to your transition you will then draw up a job seekers agreement about what hours you can work ect and your childrens welfare must be taken into consideration. As you have children under 13 you can opt to look for work only in the school hours. Also Paul your job seekers agreeement is a legal document so therefore if/when you are moved on to J.S.A and the job centre instruct you to apply for a vacancy from the hours 9:00-17:00 you are well within your legal right to refuse to apply. You are also not obligated to accept a position that would leave you financially worse off both of these count as "Good Cause" for not applying for a vacancy.
In a nutshell Paul at present should be able to claim Income support. Please contact or call into your nearest job centre.

I will leave my love and thoughts with both yourself and indeed your children. xx]]> Mon, 14 May 2012 10:44:51 GMT http://www.gingerbread.org.uk/Forum/messages.aspx?TopicID=3336 Message from lulu80
Its galling that these NRP's are so reluctant to give their kids their fair share. They are cheating their kids and trying to control the RP. How low and how cruel.]]> Sat, 12 May 2012 21:25:47 GMT http://www.gingerbread.org.uk/Forum/messages.aspx?TopicID=3401 Message from ecraig
i am new to Gingerbread & new to single parent life.

My daughter is staring school in September and i desperately need a registered childminder in the RADSTOCK / MIDSOMER NORTON - SOMERSET, area to pick uo from school and mind until i finsih work at 5...

Can anyone help please

Thank u!]]> Sat, 12 May 2012 11:39:23 GMT http://www.gingerbread.org.uk/Forum/messages.aspx?TopicID=3395 Message from paul7472 Fri, 11 May 2012 10:56:16 GMT http://www.gingerbread.org.uk/Forum/messages.aspx?TopicID=1693 Message from KRISTALROZE :-(]]> Thu, 10 May 2012 13:48:11 GMT http://www.gingerbread.org.uk/Forum/messages.aspx?TopicID=3390 Message from Janeyd Thu, 10 May 2012 11:12:57 GMT http://www.gingerbread.org.uk/Forum/messages.aspx?TopicID=3386 Message from GingerbreadInfo
The Gingerbread Single Parent Helpline advisers would be able to advise you about contact issues. If you would like to speak with an adviser they are available on

0808 802 0925
Mon-10am-6pm
Tue -10am-4pm
Wed-10am-1pm and 5pm -7pm
Thu 10am-4pm
Fri 10am-4pm

Calls are free from all landlines and the major mobile networks:3, Orange, Virgin, Vodaphone, T-Mobile, and 02, as well as from any BT Telephone Box.

Best wishes

Gingerbread]]> Thu, 10 May 2012 09:44:28 GMT http://www.gingerbread.org.uk/Forum/messages.aspx?TopicID=3390 Message from GingerbreadInfo
The Gingerbread Single Parent Helpline advisers would be able to advise you on these areas of concern. If you would like to speak with an adviser they are available on

0808 802 0925
Mon-10am-6pm
Tue -10am-4pm
Wed-10am-1pm and 5pm -7pm
Thu 10am-4pm
Fri 10am-4pm

Calls are free from all landlines and the major mobile networks:3, Orange, Virgin, Vodaphone, T-Mobile, and 02, as well as from any BT Telephone Box.

Best wishes

Gingerbread]]> Thu, 10 May 2012 09:42:06 GMT http://www.gingerbread.org.uk/Forum/messages.aspx?TopicID=3390 Message from Janeyd I want to move out with the children as soon as possible but would like some advice from a financial point of view for now and what might affect the future.
I own a house from when I was single that is currently rented out. It is only 2 bedroomed and has no garden, therefore it isn't ideal for the three of us. My partners house we are currently in is in his sole name and is six bedroomed and in 1/3 acre of land. He is refusing to be of any financial help and says we should move into my 2 bedroomed house.
I would prefer to rent a three bedroomed house somewhere and try and sell my other house using any profit as a financial back-up for our new life and I would also need this for day to day living expenses to begin with (I would hope to have approx. £15,000 equity in my house).
Would I be better off regarding any claim for child maintenance moving into my small house I can afford or selling this and renting a larger house I would struggle with? Would any profit I make have any bearing on payments? I should also say my partner has suggested he will negotiate working less hours a week in order to earn less and not have to pay me as much.
Thank you for any advice.]]> Thu, 10 May 2012 01:54:58 GMT http://www.gingerbread.org.uk/Forum/messages.aspx?TopicID=3043 Message from Slippers ]]> Wed, 09 May 2012 22:27:49 GMT http://www.gingerbread.org.uk/Forum/messages.aspx?TopicID=3386 Message from Disney3 Now he is a high functioning autistic, which means he only struggles emotionally and communication wise, more worrying however is his inability to recognise danger. He would never cope alone with the children, so its beyond me how he could concieve the idea that i should be leaving, not to mention he works and i don't and have been the 3 childrens main carer for their entire life.
So, on Saturday night a full on physical fight happened, we both hit each other, and eentually i got him to leave. My parents came round and my dad decided to sleep on the sofa. At 2am the police arrive and arrest me for afrray. He told them that i threatened him with a knife. I spent the night in a cell and was questioned then released without charge at 06:30am. My parents were at my house the entire time, he went to his sisters.
My father changed the locks and so he cannot come and and try a get me out.
Now things have settled down, he's been speaking to them on the phone at bedtime and seems to have some to accept this is the best way (probably because he has all the time he wants to do what he wants now)

What do i do about contact?

He is meant to be coming round after work tomorrow to have time with the kids, but i am terrified of more trouble.

Also, thankfully his parents are away on a cruise, i say thankfully because, we have had nothing to do with his family for 3 years after they made a variety of calls to the police and social services, I have depression and have had it for 20 years, i have self harmed to larger and and lesser degress all this time. They however are unable to understand any mental illness and it made sense to just give them a wide berth, His step dad loves to cause trouble so i am really concerned about allowing my ex to have the kids around him.]]> Wed, 09 May 2012 19:53:23 GMT http://www.gingerbread.org.uk/Forum/messages.aspx?TopicID=3385 Message from Mandie74
Do you live in or around Stoke-on-Trent?

Would you like to meet up once a month to make new friends and socialise with other single parents?

If the answer is "Yes" to both of those questions, then please leave a message below.

Thank you.

Mandie. xxx]]> Wed, 09 May 2012 19:22:20 GMT http://www.gingerbread.org.uk/Forum/messages.aspx?TopicID=3382 Message from Henrietta_BB
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