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Action to take when a relationship ends

What to do straight away

The following should be dealt with urgently. Depending on your situation you might need urgent legal advice.

1. Protect yourself and your children
2. Know your housing rights
3. Claim benefits and tax credits
4. Contact your bank
5. Protect joint assets

1. Protect yourself and your children

If you are experiencing, or have experienced violence, or if you may face danger if you stay in the home, contact the Domestic Violence Helpline – see the Further help and information section. Domestic violence takes different forms and could be emotional abuse, physical or sexual violence, or excessive control over money. The helpline can help you plan to leave your home if you need to, and can refer you to safe emergency accommodation.

If your ex-partner is violent and refuses to leave you may need to apply for an order for you to stay in the home, and to make your ex-partner leave. A solicitor can help you apply, and you may be able to get help with the costs through legal aid. To find a solicitor contact Community Legal Advice – see the Further help and information section.

2. Know your housing rights

Your housing rights will depend on what type of housing you live in, and whether you are married or in a civil partnership, or cohabiting when the relationship ends.

There is additional information in the Gingerbread factsheet Housing options for single parents. For specialist housing advice contact Shelter – see the Further help and information section.

If the home is owned or mortgaged

The following information applies if your home is mortgaged or owned outright. You may have a financial interest in the property even if your name is not on the title deeds.

If you own the home jointly with your ex-partner
Whether you are married, in a civil partnership, or cohabiting, both you and your ex-partner have a right to stay in the home, as you are both legal owners. You both also have the right to return to the property, even if you have agreed that one of you will leave. If you have been excluded from the home, you can ask a court to enforce your right to return, unless a court has already made an order to prevent you from being in the home.

If your ex-partner is violent and refuses to leave the home, you may be able to get a court order to help you to stay in the home and make your ex-partner leave. This is called an occupation order. Get legal advice from a solicitor, who can help you make the application.

If your ex-partner owns the home, and your name is not on the title deeds

• If you are married or in a civil partnership you have ‘home rights’ which give you a right to stay in the home. You need to take action to prevent your ex-partner from selling or mortgaging the property without your knowledge. You should register your home rights by contacting the Land Registry. They produce a useful guide on how to do this at www.landregistry.gov.uk.
• If you are not married or in a civil partnership you do not have an automatic right to remain in the home. You may, in certain situations, have an interest in the property. This may be the case if you had contributed toward the cost of the home, or that the intention of you and your expartner was that it was your property too. This is a very complicated area of law, and you will need specialist legal advice if you think this may apply to you.

If you own the home, and your ex-partner’s name is not on the title deeds

• If you are married or in a civil-partnership your ex-partner will have ’home rights’ which give them a right to stay in the home. You cannot make your ex-partner leave the property if they don’t agree to go. It will be a matter of negotiation and you may need legal advice.
• If you are not married or in a civil partnership your ex-partner does not have an automatic right to stay in the home, and you can ask them to leave, as long as you give them reasonable notice. If your ex-partner has made a financial contribution to the home, or you previously agreed with them that they had a stake in the property then they may be able to claim an interest in the property. It is up to your ex-partner to prove this.

If the home is rented

If you have a joint tenancy with your ex-partner Whether you are married, in a civil-partnership or cohabiting, you have a right to stay in the home, and the court can enforce this right.

If your ex-partner gives the landlord notice that they intend to leave the property, this may also end your tenancy. Your landlord may agree to transfer the tenancy to your name only. If your ex-partner leaves and refuses to pay the rent, you are liable to pay all the rent and any arrears owing, even though you are joint tenants. Check if you are entitled to housing benefit to help with the cost of the rent – see the Benefits you may be entitled to section.

A court can make an order to allocate the tenancy (whether it is with a private landlord, council, or housing association) to one of the tenants. The order is likely to be in favour of the person who has the children living with them most of the time.

If your tenancy is just in your ex-partner’s name

• If you are married or in a civil-partnership you will have ‘home rights’ which give you a right to stay in the home. A court could order that the tenancy is transferred into your name on divorce or dissolution of the civil-partnership
• If you are not married or in a civil-partnership you do not have an automatic right to stay in the home unless a court order is made. You can apply to the court for a tenancy to be transferred into your name if it would benefit the children. You will need legal advice to do this. If you have to leave the property, you can apply for housing from your local council as a homeless family.

If your tenancy is just in your name

• If you are married or in a civil-partnership your ex-partner will have ‘home rights’ which give them a right to stay in the home. You cannot make your ex-partner leave the property if they don’t agree to go. It will be a matter of negotiation and you may need legal advice
• If you are not married or in a civil partnership your ex-partner does not have an automatic right to stay in the home, and you can ask them to leave, as long as you give reasonable notice

If you are considering leaving the home
You should think about where you will live over the following months and years, not just in the immediate future. Unless you need to leave the home urgently because there is a risk of violence, get advice about your rights before you leave.

Can I afford to stay?
Once you have found out what rights you have to stay in the home, you will need to consider if it is affordable. You might assume that you cannot make a mortgage payment by yourself, or that you can’t cover the rent alone. Make sure you check everything that you are entitled to before deciding whether you can or can’t afford to stay, as you may be eligible for help. Call the Gingerbread Single Parent Helpline for a benefit check and to discuss child maintenance.

3. Claim benefits and tax credits

Separating from your partner could mean that you become entitled to benefits and tax credits that you weren’t entitled to as a couple, or the amount you receive might increase. If you were claiming benefits as a couple, you need to tell the relevant benefit agencies straight away to avoid being overpaid, or losing out on money. Depending on which benefits you claim you will need to contact Jobcentre Plus, HM Revenue and Customs (HMRC) and/or your local council. Call the Gingerbread Single Parent Helpline to check your benefit entitlement.

If you have permanently separated from your partner you can claim benefits as a single person straight away. You may not be able to claim if your separation is temporary or on a trial basis and there may be a chance you will get back together. It may also be more difficult to claim if you are still living in the same house. In these circumstances contact the Gingerbread Single Parent Helpline for more advice.

Benefits agencies do sometimes use credit reference agencies to check who is registered as living at your address. If your ex-partner is moving out make sure that they change their address with their bank and other agencies so that they are no longer registered at your address. Make sure that their name is taken off any utility bills and the council tax bill. If their post continues to come to your home this may cause problems later on.

The benefits you may be entitled to are listed in the next section.

4. Contact your bank

It is important to deal with joint bank accounts quickly. You should take steps to prevent the account being used without your permission or to have the account closed. If your ex-partner runs up an overdraft facility, you will be liable to repay the money, so it is important to notify your bank of the situation.

You can contact your bank to cancel the mandate (the instruction to the bank) that was signed by both of you when the account was opened. The arrangement can be changed so that cheques can only be used with both signatures, or the account can be closed and a separate one opened. If there is an overdraft on the account the bank is unlikely to agree to close it, so you will need to negotiate with your ex-partner about how it will be repaid.

The bank might freeze the account if you tell them you are separating, or if either of you ask them to freeze the account. It can only be unfrozen with permission from you both. If possible speak with your ex-partner about the accounts so that you can both access the money you need until new accounts are set up.

If you do not have your own bank account, you will need to open one. For free impartial advice on opening a bank account contact the Money Advice Service – see the Useful organisation section.

Take steps to deal with credit cards. You cannot get joint credit cards, but you can have an additional card holder. If a credit card is in your name and your ex-partner is an additional card holder contact the credit card company to make sure the card is stopped.

5. Protect joint assets

If you are married or in a civil-partnership, you can apply to the court for an order to prevent your expartner selling or giving away property or other assets. You will usually have to start divorce (dissolution for civil partners) proceedings first. You will need to provide as much information as possible about the assets and prove to the court that they are likely to be sold or disposed of. You should get help from a solicitor to do this.

Useful Organisations

Organisation: Citizen’s Advice

Details: Information and advice on a wide range of issues including benefits and tax credits. Check your telephone directory for your local bureau or find details on the website.

Phone:

URL: http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk




Organisation: Gingerbread Single Parent Helpline

Details: Free information on a range of issues including maintenance, benefits, tax credits, debt, employment, education, legal rights and holidays. Open Mondays to Fridays, 9.00am – 5.00pm, with extended opening on Wednesdays to 8.00pm.

Phone: Freephone 0808 802 0925

URL: http://www.gingerbread.org.uk




Organisation: Jobcentre Plus

Details: Processes new claims and claim renewals for welfare benefits.

Phone: 0800 055 6688 Benefits Enquiries England, 0800 012 1888 Benefits (Wales), 0800 882 200 for disabled people, Textphone: 0800 243 355

URL: http://www.jobcentreplus.gov.uk




Organisation: Land Registry

Details: For information on property ownership.

Phone: 0844 892 1111

URL: http://www.landregistry.gov.uk




Organisation: Law Society

Details: Use the website to find a solicitor in your area.

Phone:

URL: http://www.lawsociety.org.uk




Organisation: Moneymadeclear

Details: Straight forward, jargon-free advice on money and budgeting.

Phone: 0300 500 5000

URL: http://www.moneymadeclear.org.uk




Organisation: National Domestic Violence Helpline

Details: The freephone 24 hour National Domestic Violence Helpline is run in partnership between Women’s Aid and Refuge. It is a national service for women experiencing domestic violence or their friends and families. A translation service is available.

Phone: 0808 2000 247

URL: http://www.nationaldomesticviolencehelpline.org.uk




Organisation: Tax Credit Helpline

Details: For information about tax credits and to request claim forms to request claim forms.

Phone: 0845 300 3900

URL: http://www.hmrc.gov.uk/taxcredits

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Action to take when a relationship ends

Benefits you may be entitled to

Child benefit

Parents who have day to day responsibility for a child under the age of 16 or under the age of 20 if they are in full-time non-advanced education or training. From January 2013 child benefit will reduce if your income is over £50,000 a year.

Apply through HM Revenue and Customs child benefit helpline

Child tax credit

Parents who have day to day responsibility for a child under the age of 16 or under the age of 20 if they are in full-time non-advanced education or training.

Apply through HM Revenue and Customs tax credit helpline

Income support or jobseeker’s allowance

Parents who do not work or work less than 16 hours a week may be able to claim.

Apply at Jobcentre Plus

Council tax benefit

Help for people responsible for paying the council tax bill. You can claim whether you own your home or rent it. Whether you are entitled depends on your income.

Apply at your local council

Housing benefit

Help for people who rent their home. You may be able to claim even if you are working. Whether you are entitled depends on your income.

Apply at your local council

Working tax credit

Single parents who work 16 hours a week or more. The amount you get depends on how much you earn. You may be able to get help with the cost of childcare.

Apply through HM Revenue and Customs tax credit helpline

Crisis loan

Parents who do not have enough money for heating, food or other essentials. May be able to get an interestfree loan of up to £1,500. You do not need to be claiming benefits or tax credits.

Apply at Jobcentre Plus

Budgeting loan

Those in receipt of income support, income-based jobseeker’s allowance, income-related employment and support allowance or pension credit and have been in receipt of one of these benefits for at least 26 weeks. You may be able to get an interest-free loan for items such as furniture, clothing, rent in advance or travel expenses.

Apply at Jobcentre Plus

Community care grant

Those in receipt of income support, income-based jobseeker’s allowance, income-related employment and support allowance or pension credit. Grants do not have to be paid back and are intended to help you set up home or ease exceptional pressures on your family. The grant can be for items such as furniture, cookers, beds, moving expenses or minor repairs.

Apply at Jobcentre Plus

Useful Organisations

Organisation: Child Benefit Helpline

Details: Information on child benefit and how to claim.

Phone: 0845 302 1444

URL: http://www.hmrc.gov.uk/childbenefit




Organisation: Jobcentre Plus

Details: Processes new claims and claim renewals for welfare benefits.

Phone: 0800 055 6688 Benefits Enquiries England, 0800 012 1888 Benefits (Wales), 0800 882 200 for disabled people, Textphone: 0800 243 355

URL: http://www.jobcentreplus.gov.uk




Organisation: Tax Credit Helpline

Details: For information about tax credits and to request claim forms to request claim forms.

Phone: 0845 300 3900

URL: http://www.hmrc.gov.uk/taxcredits

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Action to take when a relationship ends

What to do next

The following should be dealt with shortly after separation. The best time to do them will depend on your individual circumstances and whether you have urgent tasks to deal with.

• Work out arrangements for the children
• Make arrangements for child maintenance
• Get advice about debts
• Tell key people and organisations

Where will your child live and when will they spend time with each parent?

It is usually in the best interests of a child to spend time with both of their parents, as long as it is safe. There are no set rules about what the arrangements for children should be; it is up to you and your child’s other parent to make an arrangement that works best for your child. You should always keep your child’s needs at the heart of your decision making.

Every family situation is different. Some choose to have an arrangement where the child spends time and sleeps over at both parents’ homes on a regular basis. In other families the child will live with one parent all or most of the time, and make visits to see their other parent. Whatever agreement you come to, it’s important that it works for you as a family.

For more information on making decisions about when your child will spend time with each parent see the Gingerbread factsheet Making arrangements for your children.

Make arrangements for child maintenance

The Child Maintenance Options Service can tell you about your options for organising child maintenance, including setting up a family-based arrangement with your ex-partner. This means you organise the maintenance informally between yourselves.

If you cannot agree on child maintenance, you can apply to the Child Support Agency (CSA) to assess and collect maintenance, if necessary. The CSA does not charge for its services at the moment, but charging is expected to start in 2013.

Before applying, read the factsheet Making arrangements for child maintenance, which outlines some of the advantages and disadvantages of using the CSA.

If you are married or in a civil partnership, a solicitor can advise you on whether to apply for maintenance for you through the courts. This is called ‘spousal maintenance’ and means that your former partner pays money for your needs, not just those of your child.

Get advice about debts

You are responsible for any bills or debts that are in your name, even if you have not spent the money. You are also responsible for debts that are in joint names. If your ex-partner refuses to pay a joint debt you may be asked to repay all of it. You should not be responsible for debts that are in your ex-partner’s name only.

Start by getting specialist advice to work out which debts you must pay and what your options are for dealing with them. See the Useful organisations section for organisations that provide free specialist debt advice.

Make or alter a will

If you have not made a will, you should do so now to ensure that any assets you have are left to the right people. If you are married or in a civil partnership and have separated but not yet divorced, your ex-partner could be entitled to your assets if you don’t make a will. If you made a will before your separation it will still be valid, so it may need to be changed.

You might need to appoint a guardian for your child in the event of your death. If you are the only person with parental responsibility this is particularly important. See the Gingerbread factsheet Parental responsibility.

Useful Organisations

Organisation: Association of independent financial advisors

Details: The website has a search tool to help you find an independent financial adviser.


Phone:

URL: http://www.aifa.net




Organisation: Child Maintenance Options

Details: Information about your options for arranging child maintenance and making an agreement best suited to your circumstances. Information booklets, a maintenance calculator and a private agreement form are on the website.

Phone: 0800 988 0988

URL: http://www.cmoptions.org




Organisation: Child Support Agency National Enquiry Line

Details: Information about claiming child support through the Child Support Agency.

Phone: 08457 133 133

URL: http://www.direct.gov.uk




Organisation: Citizen’s Advice

Details: Information and advice on a wide range of issues including benefits and tax credits. Check your telephone directory for your local bureau or find details on the website.

Phone:

URL: http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk




Organisation: Consumer Credit Counselling Service

Details: Provides independent debt counselling and debt management plans. No charge for services.

Phone: 0800 138 1111

URL: http://www.cccs.co.uk




Organisation: Law Society

Details: Use the website to find a solicitor in your area.

Phone:

URL: http://www.lawsociety.org.uk




Organisation: National Debtline

Details: Free, confidential and independent advice on dealing with debt problems.

Phone: 0808 808 4000

URL: http://www.nationaldebtline.co.uk

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Action to take when a relationship ends

People to tell

It is important to tell the right people and organisations when you have split up. Here is a list to get you started.

Your mortgage lender or landlord

Find out what your rights are to stay in the property and any options you have first. Contact the Gingerbread Single Parent Helpline for advice on whether you can claim housing benefit or help with paying your mortgage.

Jobcentre Plus

If you claim benefits from Jobcentre Plus tell them about your change in circumstances. You may be able to claim new benefits.

HM Revenue and Customs

If you claim tax credits you need to tell HMRC immediately about your change in circumstances. You may be able to make a new claim for tax credits or receive more. If child benefit is paid to your ex-partner you will need to apply for the benefit to be paid to you.

Your local council

If you receive housing benefit or council tax benefit, tell your local council about your change in circumstances. You may be able to make a claim for the first time.

Council tax

Tell the council tax department at your local council if you are the only adult in your property to get a 25 per cent reduction on your bill.

Your bank

Sort out joint accounts and credit cards.

Utility companies

Tell your gas, electricity, water and telephone company. You may need to change the name on the bill. Take meter readings and use these to negotiate payment with your ex-partner. Ask your supplier for their policy on dealing with joint debts when a couple has separated.

Insurance companies

For example, home, car or life insurance policies may need to be notified of the change.

Your employer

If the person who should be contacted in an emergency has changed.

Private pension companies

If relevant, you may wish to change the name of a nominated beneficiary in the event of your death.

Your children’s school

To help teachers understand any unusual behaviour and so they can tell you if your child experiences difficulties. Tell the school if the person who collects your child changes. They will also need contact details for both parents in case of emergency and to send reports etc. It will help if you can make clear decisions with your ex-partner about how each of you will be involved with the school.

Your GP, dentist and other health professionals

You may need to change the details of the person who is notified about appointments or contacted in case of emergency.

TV licensing authority

If you have a TV, you will need to tell them about changes to ownership or address.

DVLA

Tell the Driver Vehicle Licencing Authority if you have a vehicle and there is a change of ownership or address.

Post Office

If necessary, you can ask the Post Office to redirect your mail. There is a charge for this service.

Useful Organisations

Organisation: Gingerbread Single Parent Helpline

Details: Free information on a range of issues including maintenance, benefits, tax credits, debt, employment, education, legal rights and holidays. Open Mondays to Fridays, 9.00am – 5.00pm, with extended opening on Wednesdays to 8.00pm.

Phone: Freephone 0808 802 0925

URL: http://www.gingerbread.org.uk




Organisation: Jobcentre Plus

Details: Processes new claims and claim renewals for welfare benefits.

Phone: 0800 055 6688 Benefits Enquiries England, 0800 012 1888 Benefits (Wales), 0800 882 200 for disabled people, Textphone: 0800 243 355

URL: http://www.jobcentreplus.gov.uk




Organisation: Shelter

Details: Gives details of local housing advice centres throughout the country and provides information and advice on a range of housing issues and signposting service for further help and advice.

Phone: Freephone 0808 800 4444

URL: http://www.shelter.org.uk




Organisation: Tax Credit Helpline

Details: For information about tax credits and to request claim forms to request claim forms.

Phone: 0845 300 3900

URL: http://www.hmrc.gov.uk/taxcredits

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Action to take when a relationship ends

Further help and information

The following organisations can all offer further help and information.

Useful Organisations

Organisation: Child Maintenance Options

Details: Information about your options for arranging child maintenance and making an agreement best suited to your circumstances. Information booklets, a maintenance calculator and a private agreement form are on the website.

Phone: 0800 988 0988

URL: http://www.cmoptions.org




Organisation: Citizen’s Advice

Details: Information and advice on a wide range of issues including benefits and tax credits. Check your telephone directory for your local bureau or find details on the website.

Phone:

URL: http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk




Organisation: Community Legal Advice

Details: Telephone advice on benefits, housing, employment, debt, welfare benefits and family law for people who are eligible for public funding.


Phone: 0845 345 4345

URL: http://www.communitylegaladvice.org.uk




Organisation: Family Mediation Helpline

Details: Provides general information on family mediation and can tell you whether your case may be suitable for mediation. Can also give information about eligibility for free help, and contact details for local mediation services.

Phone: 0845 60 26 627

URL: http://www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk




Organisation: Gingerbread Single Parent Helpline

Details: Free information on a range of issues including maintenance, benefits, tax credits, debt, employment, education, legal rights and holidays. Open Mondays to Fridays, 9.00am – 5.00pm, with extended opening on Wednesdays to 8.00pm.

Phone: Freephone 0808 802 0925

URL: http://www.gingerbread.org.uk




Organisation: HM Revenue and Customs Child Benefit Helpline

Details: For information about child benefit, to report a change of circumstances and to make a claim.

Phone: 0845 302 1444

URL: http://www.hmrc.gov.uk/childbenefit




Organisation: HM Revenue and Customs Tax Credit Helpline

Details: For information about tax credits, to report a change in circumstances and to make a claim.

Phone: 0345 300 3900

URL: http:// www.hmrc.gov.uk/taxcredits




Organisation: Jobcentre Plus

Details: Processes new claims and claim renewals for welfare benefits.

Phone: 0800 055 6688 Benefits Enquiries England, 0800 012 1888 Benefits (Wales), 0800 882 200 for disabled people, Textphone: 0800 243 355

URL: http://www.jobcentreplus.gov.uk




Organisation: Land Registry

Details: For information on property ownership.

Phone: 0844 892 1111

URL: http://www.landregistry.gov.uk




Organisation: Money Advice Service

Details: Provides impartial financial information including budgeting, loans, credit cards, mortgages and savings.

Phone: 0300 500 5000

URL: http://www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk




Organisation: National Debtline

Details: Free, confidential and independent advice on dealing with debt problems.

Phone: 0808 808 4000

URL: http://www.nationaldebtline.co.uk




Organisation: National Domestic Violence Helpline

Details: The freephone 24 hour National Domestic Violence Helpline is run in partnership between Women’s Aid and Refuge. It is a national service for women experiencing domestic violence or their friends and families. A translation service is available.

Phone: 0808 2000 247

URL: http://www.nationaldomesticviolencehelpline.org.uk




Organisation: OISC

Details: For information on organisations/solicitors that give immigration advice.

Phone: 0845 000 0046

URL: http://www.oisc.gov.uk




Organisation: One Parent Families Scotland Lone Parent Helpline

Details: Run by our partner organisation, the Lone Parent Helpline provides confidential advice and information for single parents in Scotland.

Phone: 0808 801 0323

URL: http://www.opfs.org.uk




Organisation: Pension, Disability and Carers Service

Details: Benefit enquiries for disabled people and their carers
0800 243 355 Textphone
Processes welfare benefit claims

Phone: 0800 882 200

URL: http://www.gov.uk




Organisation: Refugee Council

Details: Advice for refugees and asylum seekers.

Phone: 020 7346 6700

URL: http://www.refugeecouncil.org.uk




Organisation: Resolution

Details: Association of solicitors specialising in family law, who adopt a constructive, non-confrontational approach to family problems. It can provide a list of local members. The website contains free information on issues such as splitting up, parenting apart and child maintenance. Resolution produce a booklet, Separation and divorce – Helping parents to help children, a practical guide to handling the emotional aspects of separation or divorce.

Phone: 0845 758 5671

URL: http://www.resolution.org.uk




Organisation: Shelter

Details: Gives details of local housing advice centres throughout the country and provides information and advice on a range of housing issues and signposting service for further help and advice.

Phone: Freephone 0808 800 4444

URL: http://www.shelter.org.uk




Organisation: Step Change Debt Charity

Details: Charity providing free, independent debt counselling and debt management plans.

Phone: 0800 138 1111

URL: http:// www.stepchange.org

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